SEN sucks

if anything ever has got power to sqeeze human's mind than it can not be better than "SEN" in this business because "sen" has the ability to suck ones mind like one suck appy with a straw. SEN = software engineering, a subject which is taught to computer and IT engineers. This is the subject which can be nightmare as the theory part of it is like pages of a rhetoric book, content of which is very small but has been made very long and heavy using rhetoric language and worst thing comes when one has to reproduce the same content in the exam and the practical lab work of it is producing 6-8 page lang documents in microsoft word like one is writing essay on a topic. This subject sucks, seriously sucks, in short the juice and motive of the whole subject is to teach planning things and managing things, which is good and no bad in itself but the way books have been written on all these and questions are asked in the exams are like ones which we used to answer in 9-10 standard. All theory, no maths, no logic, just remember and in the exams, write as much as you can. And above all the credits of this are held 5.5, highest in the whole sememster, so that a poor SPI can be assured if one is not "rattu tota " or book worm. A course which is nothing but apalling, there is nothing to understand except a few things has been made up so heavy and of so high importance, it really sucks. Just have a look at SEN book, full chapter has been written just to explain one line and books have been made like a thesis of 10kg. Cant we keep SEN books short like a comic book if it can address all topics, Cant an objective paper be given in the exam when subjective paper is unnecessary and of no use, but our propogaters of the subject just do not want it to happen, perhaps because it gives them fun to torture innocent students like us :( .

puzzled

calm and peace was shattered when notes of pattern recognision were touched today after the 2nd mid semester exams after a long hiatus approzimately 1 month long. Though I do not advise anybody to do so, I am litterly defeated by my whims and hobbies that keep me from my books. I found that our instructer had really taught a lot of topics after the 2nd mid semester exams which were beyond my worst expectation. As it is default, I had bunked all the lectures after the 2nd mid semester and am totally blank as to what strategy should I adopt to steal a good grade in end semester exam. One relieving thing, for which I must thank GOD and my professor, is that the end semester exams are going to be open notes, but this doesnt really solve much of the problem as the professor loves asking hard questions ... can any1 teach me pattern recognition in 3 days as on the 4th day I have exam and this is the opening exam and I really dont wanna open my endsem exams with a bad one :( anyone help me please

the torrent

the torrent arises to shake, bounce and float every hitherto unexplored, unmoved brain tissue when I attempt to analyze the question of my future. Where do I want to be? What can I do best? What should I choose as my career? These handfuls of questions are capable of bringing me into a state of vagueness where no answer seems better than other yet every answer proves itself better than every other options. vagueness ... yes, thats what it is... a state of unclarity and its continuity is more disturbing than its occurance, because it has been so contiuous that it lasted everytime I tried to arise the "torrent". The first question that founds the base of the torrent is where I want to be. This seemingly easily answerable question can go upto an extent of confusion that puzzles badly. I really dont know. Where do I wanna be?? an engineer?.. yes .. i like this work .. engineering stuff.. i enjoy working in labs.... well a manager after mba?...... yes .. thats what I always wanted to be...... my imagination could never think that choosing one option out of given two can be so prolonged process... amazing .. hmm . The next question comes ,i.e. what can I do best??? I really dont know ... simply I dont know... may be as an engineer I can succeed.. may be I can do managerial things better than engineering... The thing is that I have no experience of doing any one of them in an industry. How can I judge ??? Do I know my weaknesses ??? probably NOT... probably what I believe as my weak points are really my weak points. The third and final question for which I employed my mind and energy definitely curtailing my fun-time(most precious), is this ... What should I choose as my career? To answer this I must go back to my first question which is still waiting for a finite answer ,ie., where do I want to be ???
This is really a deadlock, an example of a perfect deadlock, its like the chakarvahue, entrace into which is very trivial and only needs arising the questions but escaping from it is not as trivial as it seems to be. anyone Help me out to get out of this....

But is it really necessary to locate these answers. I particularly am trying to find them because my senior and teachers have advised me to do so, but the same advised was given to me when I was younger and had to choose optional subject after 10th standard. I really never gave thought to these question but did what I was asked to do, accepted life as it came and I reached to this stage. and I think I am really happy, inspite of the fact that my subject are not the once which I wanted to study. So I think, though the seniors ask us to find the answers to these questions and set the goals accordingly, one may not worry about them much if these questions seems unanswerable even after many tries and one can go on doing whatever he/she is doing. Time will factor everything. Let the time decide and tell what is best to do. So, I think I should actually prepare for my exams like cat,gre etc.. and stop worrying whether I want to be an engineer or a manager because results of these exams is capable of explicitly answering this question -- what can I do best and discriminating between the two options. The first question was -- where do I want to be ? well, if there existed one wish than I would have certainly capable of answering this question but unfortunately there remains more than one wishes. In any case I have to choose one of my wish over another. So now it really does not matter whether I become and engineer or a manager because in any case one wish will be gardened and another will just remain a wish. So lets move on the third question -- What should I choose as my career? I think once the results declare the answer to the second question, I will pretty easily answer this question because it is simply a function of 1st and 2nd. So now I think, I should sit back and let the results of exams be the judge of my future rather than worrying about it. Seriously, judging own self is the most difficult task one can ever encounter but did I make the torrent silent, silent forever.... yes! silent like the stillness of water, I dont want to think, it is still brutal, vulnerable to repetition.

random talk

My life has been very strange to myself. I dont have any complaint with my life as it has always brought to me what I deserved at times (that may be different from what I wanted). It has given me many gifts but all the time they were different from what I wanted and altogether turned out to be best for me. Even sometimes worst things happened in my life like breaking of friendships but later I came to know that those "so considered worst things" were also my good luck!!! Amazing but yes, they simplified lot more complications and worries in my life. This always made me believe this - "Everthing happens for betterment only." and perhaps this is the same belief that causes me to behave in my own way. I speak what is there in my heart, I do what I believe is right and I believe what I think is logical and I dont really care for anything but my duties and responsibility because I believe that everything happens for betterment only.

One thing in always recurred in my life and that is – “magic of hardwork”. For example in school days, there were times when I didnt do hardwork but had better knowledge of some subject than others, yet I stood below than others... And there were times when I did hardwork but others had better command over subjects, yet life gave me surprized gift and kept me in top ranks. It is all the hardwork that has paid me till now irrespective of everything else. If I worked hard, than I know for sure that I will get things. If I didnt than I should not expect a favour from my luck. In fact, being in accord to my believes and philosophy( which is -- One does not have any right to get things for free and one must get things for what one has paid for.), I appreciate this things.

Well these days life is bringing new challenges and fun to me. Like, there are some projects to be done, in a sense , they are to be done and not in the way I have done projects so far, ie., copy and paste style. They are some real projects and working on them serves as fun and fascination for things. My new aim, which is landing abroad, is becoming realistic day by day. And this is what is keeping my energy alive. Help from some seniors, who are undoubtedly my source of inspirations, has eased many complexities of life. One thing that still remains uncompleted is English, yes, moving from normal English user to an advance English speaker. That is what has been remained uncompleted. Well, one day I will wake up to realize completion of this goal and another day, I know, the lachrymose success will touch my feet.

this sem

ya i know i am writing today after a long hiatus, but it was only because of my work that employed all my time and i was left with no moments get back to this blog. Well, i will try to be regular from now on and i can promise this as the nightmares of 2nd mid semester exams are over now and the ghost of SEN project will soon return. I am pretty sure that there departure from my life will turn out to be a blessing for me as i would be able to return to my previous diurnal schedule, when i used to wake up at 9,10,11(nothing was fixed in fact) and go back to sleep around 5 am in the morning.

Factually speaking, this semester has been tiresome till now and learning english to bell the cat has been palling since the very first day. In the begining, in January, I had some very good experience with learning algorithms. The semester had just begun, so there was no considerable onus from course projects, lectures, labs and tutorials. I was very relaxed and in this relaxation days passed and one day I realized that February had come. Then the realization that a lot had been covered in the class while i was relax in my room made my eyes open to study because not waking up now would mean running the 1st mid semester exams which were far by only 1 week. I got back to studies. I had not recovered from the shock of "security protocols", when I realized that the storm of SEN and MCS was ready to bring havoc to my mental peace. I had not attended the lectures of MCS and whatever was tought by our renowned professor in the class was too much to be grasped in a day. Well, the life does not stop, and the days passed and here i was with all my cheerful face in the dawn of the very next day after the exam looking at the rising sun and thinking why is it that life is not always the same like it was that time. The ghost of exams had been passed by and I had buried all the memories connected to it, thought of them were preempted from my mind to be acquired by my next passion, the thing i love to do in my spare time,.. coding and algorithms.... I am lucky to have my interest as my subjects :)