painful break-ups

Effective communication is one of the biggest art that exist in the world today. Not every other person in the world can communicate his/her thoughts completely, impressively and convingly. Here I am not talking about daily communication. Day to day communication is so much practised that we can do it very glibly, comfortably. What I am talking about is the situations when expressing ideas and thoughts can actually complicate the other person's perception. Like the one picture you see on the left.
There is a guy in the pic, who has expressed his love to a girl and the girl wants him to forget about the love thing and not to love her anymore. The girl thinks that he still loves her and then she always try to avoid him, the guy can not suffer this being avoided and tries to explain things. All he wants to say is that he loves her so much that he cant stop loving her and at the same time he is not seeking any favour from her. He just has a hope that might someday become true and even if this hope never seems to be true, he will not make any deliberate efforts to make it true and get her. But the girl wants him to stop loving her, but he can not accept that he has stopped loving her and the more he tries to explain this thing to her, the situation keep getting more and more complicated because the girls sees his explanation as a try to show his love, win sympathy and emotions of the girl, and finally the love. An explanation that can complicated things further....!!! . Of course, one can argue that why does the guy need to say the truth that he loves her and all that ..... alll he can simply say is that he does not love her anymore and can get rid of this situation, but the problem with this guy is that he really loves her and can not lie to her. It is not just one case, there are many such cases around us, in our friend circle, in our family, in the world around us, where tries to distangle things further adds to entangle them. Like painful breaking up of friendships, I believe most of them happens because of misunderstanding, misunderstandings that are tried to be resolved but all those efforts only adds to more and more misunderstandings leading them to such a state that the only one final solution remains -- "break up".

It is really painful to see such relations breaking up for no reason. As a witness of some similiar dillemas, I can feel the pain that both sides suffer. Sometimes it becomes heart breakening not only to both persons but yet such situations happens, happens every other day in one or another part of the world. In most of these cases, the other person is someone very close to us, someone who understands us better and I suprise, we become unable to explains things to such a person, to make him/her understand when the need arises....how poor we remain on the communication fronts.

Some time ago, I saw a similiar break up, a break up between two lovers. None of them wanted the relation to end and become separate.... but yet they broke up with each other, became separated, and then finally stopped talking to each other. In earlier days after the break-up, they would talk more often but then they started talking less and less and now they rarely talk. They sometimes see each other on the road, turn their face and walk away like they never knew each other. But yet love exist between them, they love each other, still they want to be same like what they were, but the misunderstadings between them have grew up to such an extent that there every step to get back to earlier relationship fails and now they have become exhausted by these failures of making their relationship like what it was.

Sad but true.... sometimes we are really poor when it comes to communicate our thoughts effectively.

Aug 23, 07 GRE-1330

This was a day full of nervousness, uncomfortable feeling, as I had my GRE exam in the evening, the exam long awaited, the exam that carried some expectation, some hopes and consequentially a lot of hardwork and time I had dedicated for it, not to get a score of 1500 but to touch 1250. Yes, that was my target, only 1250.

I did not have proper sleep a day before, and it had cause some tension, mainly because even thinking of answering one question wrong in Gre-Quant is the sin that one guy with poor vocabulary can never afford to commit and the insomania last night had increased probability of wrong answer by a bit, the bit that mattered a lot and could cause a lot.

Among this tension, I tried to sleep in the day but unfortunately couldnt and wasted the time I could have used revising my english vocabulary reading all those lexicons that always confounded me and made fascinated about the lexicographer. How come anyone remember all these words. Well, it was already 11 am and I had to leave from college by 2:30 to reach the prometric center by 4 pm. In these last 3 hrs, I finally reviewed some of the practice math questions to brush up my concepts and mental tissues, had my lunch at 2 pm and then reached prometric by 4 . Soon after the initial formalities, like filling up a form and showing the required documents etc., a guy came who spoke unfaltering fluent english in the speed faster than I had ever heard before. Half of what he was speaking was getting off without landing in the brain. Finally after all of his instruction that were already written at ten different places, he asked us to be ready for entering into the examination chamber. Soon after this, my name was called and before I could enter I was asked to deposit whatever I had in a locker including pencil, pen, wallet and keys. For a moment this amazed me, it was the 1st kind of exam where students are asked to submit there pen, pencil and are allowed to write the exam using the only pencils provided by the examiner.

Fine I got into and 2 really boring issue came, on which I would have been loathful and shown paramount reluctance to even to think(Gre-people are really great at finding the most boring possible topics and giving them as issue of your essay). But soon completion of this 1:15 hrs section made me relaxed and after this I was allowed to take a 10 minute break which I found really helpful and a need. After this I prayed for the verbal section as I wanted to attempt my verbal section first, because in case of attending quant first, doubt in 1-2 question of Quant (even if the reason would have been ambiguity) could have pressurized me and have effected my performance in verbal as well. But finally, the Quant came first, I completed this section with more than 10 mins remaining. But in the end I had doubt in 1 answer and I was almost sure that I was not getting 800. After this quant section, did all the questions of verbal as well, though I felt short of time while attempting 6 questions in last 2 mins. It was basically the result of that 85 lines passage that came in appearance when 10 mins were remaining. I did the passage and now 5 mins were remaing when another passage came and with the advent of this new passage, I knew I was fucked now. It was really terrible when there were 6 questions and 2 minutes but well, somehow I managed to attempt all and escape from the penalty.

After doing some click and committing that yes, I wished to see my scores and not to cancel them, the software showed me my score(by the way the software, created by microsoft was really good, the processings were quick and one can easily find the information one may need during the exam). The first glance at 800, which was my quant score, soothed me little bit, as it was my least target. And the second glance at 530 made me yet more happier. I dont want to say that 1330 is a very good score but it is what I am happy with. So, with the advent of this moment in my life, now the life is now at a new track where I have kept all my books aside, as I am sick of them now(and dont want to even see their face) and have started doing all those things that I would love doing and sparing my time with.

With this, my life-train had come to a station where I could relax and chill for sometime but soome I realized the fact that running on this track is also as important as relaxing and chilling. My next job happens to be selecting universities, which is perhaps a difficult task with a profile like mine, having the most weird diversities as in all my B.Tech., I did the things that I really enjoyed doing and never ever bothered choosing things that were related and went in one stream. Scattered different kind of work, rather than one more coherent, is sure giving hard time in choosing right program, at some good university, that matches my profile.

But the moral from all this I draw is - The ambitions never end and the life-train will keep running, relax and chill but keep running as well.......

interview 4 SABA : God, dont give such interviewer please

interview 4 saba

yes guys come in .....(we were 3 guys and the interviewer-1 called us. we went in ... )

in-1 : have a seat...

we : thank u sir (we = I, adarsh and praneet)

in-1 ok guys,, the same question that i asked to previous batches... there is a table of form student_id, student_name, course_id, course_name, fees. One student can have many courses, one course can be taken by many students.

we: ok sir

in-1: draw a normalized data structure for this...

me: sir, we have to draw normalized data structure? (totally blank by the term normalized data structure... first time ever , i heard this term)

in-1: yes, normalized data structure.

previously i was thinking that it should be normalized database but when the interviewer again used normalized data structure, i was just clean blowed.

me(again): normalized data structure or normalized database?

in-1: yes, normalized data structure

me = totally blank,,, thinking whats the normalized data structure.... thinking for 3-4 minutes.... recalling all the concepts that i had learned.... couldnt find any clue and again asked...

me: sir,,, we have to draw normalized tables

in-1: yes, you have to draw normalized tables

me thinking cant this bullshit interviewers said normalized database. ok fine.

me : sir, the fees is dependent on student_id and course_id both or only on student_id or only on course_id.

in-1: what it should be?

me: it can be either case.(thinking why these ppl dont ask questions clearly, such ambiguous question, dont know what u r asking, neither u explain the question)

he didnt tell me any dependencies till the end.

me: ok sir.... created 4 tables

ok...After this funny question next question comes

in-1: animals can be divided in two classes : 1. mammels 2. birds. both can fly,swim,walk. draw class diagram for this showing all three classes.

me: sir, both can do all 3 activities?

in-1: yes

me drew the 3rd figure you see on top.

in1: in ur class class diagram, an elephant can fly.

me: ok. (thinking then why he said yes before.... i asked the same think. ok let it be) drew the 2nd class diagram you see on top.

in1: can a bird swim ... yes duck swims but all birds dont swim.... how will u show that in ur class diagram....

me thinking you only classified animals in 2 parts , one mammel and another bird .... pahle hi bata deta na ki tumko aur classify karna hai ....

me: sir we can create subclasses of bird class and override the method that we dont require.

in-1: how will u do that?

me drew the 1st figure you see on top .... sir we can have different method bodies for swim method in both subclasses ....

he did nt seem to be happy

me: another solution can be to have 3 interfaces , one for swim,one for walk, one for fly and then implement these 3 interfaces as applicable. So for a bird that can walk and fly but cant swim , we can implement walk interface and fly interface and for a bird that can do all 3 activities , we can implement all 3 interfaces.

in-1 : ok i am done...

now the in-2 comes into the picture:

in-2: asking in-3, should be ask them that question

arrey puchna hai jo pucho but dhang se puchna.... at least give complete question... dont use question hiding ....

in-2: do you understand "is a " relationship and "has a " relationship.

a discussion on these relationship

in-2: i have a linkedlist class and i want to implement stack. should i use "is a " relationship or "has a " relationship.

me: sir, stack a kind of linkedlist where removal and insertion are restricted. Like in linkedlist we can insert anywhere and remove from anywhere but in stack, we can inserted only in the end and we can remove only from the end. So we should use "is a " relationship.

in-3: what can go wrong if i use "is a " relationship?

me: thinking for sometime.... then in stack class we can be able to access data member specific to linklist. superclass member can be visible in subclass, so unwanted linkedlist's member can also be accessed in stack class and a class that inherits stack can use super operator to access linkedlist's member lalblablab ..... i answered this wrongly but this question can be better asked as whether we should extend linkedlist class to implement stack or we should use linkedlist class' instance as data member to implement stack. but the interviewer confused a lot in "is a "/"has a ","is a "/"has a " ... i mean at least state the question clearly... why to confuse candidates in questions only.... and by the time i am critically thinking of my own answer, the interviewer pops up to ask me to tell the flaw in another guy's answer.

1st question was totally bullshit... you dont know dependencies and are baffled with normalized data structure

2nd question ... you classify one thing into 2 and then blame the candidate that he should have further classified the 2's. If that is the case, then you should have stated previously only na, that further classification can be done if required.

question 3: here interviewer was asking things like we have done gross mistake and we are his servant. I really hated that guy but what could I do.... anyway I wanted to sit in placement for saba, after the ppt also.. wrote the test but in the interview I changed my mind... Cant work with these guys.... who just know how to torture candidates but nothing else

finally 17 out of 97, i was there in 17

7 out of 17,,, i was not there in 7... but this time .... no regrets.... but the interviewer were seriously not good.