m not happy

kafa hu aaj apne aap se , chubhan hai , kashish si kahin chupi hui ..... final semester of engineering, and when i look back, i see my self waisting time working for everything unuseful, working for what i am not supposed to work, working only what i wanted to ... all this is fine when u are only interested in enjoying college life and joining whatever company u get thru in placements but when u consider coll life as a professional, when u want ur career after coll to kickstart with the kind of job that u wish and with a good pay package, then the undirected efforts can always be a villain in ur dreams. What happened with me is something similar to this.

I did work, but only the things that I liked doing. I learned but only the things I liked learning and now I am at such an stage of my career that I have good expertise on many domains but but but ... of only few domains from IT, few from hardware, few from design. Collectively, I possess good experience of many but DIFFERENT things. For ex. I know C, JAVA C++, but not database, not data structures but algorithms. I have experience of designing embedded systems but never studied VLSI. I never did any design or animation course, but have made movies using flash, posters using photoshop. General question: whats big deal, u can learn few topics now, but thats what the big deal is... i am not happy with myself... myself = the one who only cares about what he wants and never give a damn to anything else. This decision, I should have taken at an early stage of my life that what I really want to do and I should have directed my efforts in that direction. I was advised to do so, by my teachers, my seniors etc. I am damn idiot. I am foolish. I could be the need of the market, today I need it.

PS: You can not understand this post and feelings behind this post, unless you have seen my transcripts, and myself oscillating my mind between career choices